Day 28 – Reasons She Hasn’t Texted You

No really… it’s not her, it’s you.

  1. That bit of spinach in your teeth that was in your teeth all night
  2. Your breath reeked, dude
  3. The screams from the bathroom when you urinated
  4. You’re too nice, she likes you like a brother
  5. Despite your insistance, there’s no hidden left-wing messages in Guardians of the Galaxy
  6. Your 40 minute soliloquy of how you like to do it in the booty
  7. You gave her a burner number by mistake
  8. The duct tape, sheets of plastic and shovel in your back seat
  9. You were wearing the Billy Squier t-shirt un-ironically
  10. She thinks you’re a dick